


Stay With Me

by moonwillow27458



Series: Things I posted on tumblr at 2am [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Caring Castiel (Supernatural), Depressed Sam Winchester, Depression, Hospitalization, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, Protective Castiel, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Strangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-05 16:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17328731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonwillow27458/pseuds/moonwillow27458
Summary: Cas finds a freshman passed out on campus and calls the EMTs. With no one else around, he has to go to the hospital with the kid.





	1. Chapter 1

Cas didn’t know what to tell the EMTs when they turned up. He’d just found the kid passed out on the edge of the quad, didn’t know his name so much as what dorm he lived in. If he’d been able to wake him up, he might have been able to help, not have to call 911, but he wouldn’t respond. So he called an ambulance and hoped for the best. 

The EMT asked again if he knew the kids name, and Cas shook his head. A part of him wanted a cigarette, craved the calming sensation, but he doubted the paramedics would be very pleased with him.

The kid was breathing, just. Shallow breaths racked through his body, causing him to shudder and shiver. One of the EMTs wrapped a silver blanket around him, and it seemed to warm him up since he curled his body to fit better under the blanket. The EMT tried coaxing him awake, but his eyes just wouldn’t open. She laughed about how sometimes patients were stubborn, but she seemed nervous. At least he was responsive.

Her radio exploded with a buzz of static. Cas couldn’t quite hear what it said, but she relayed something to whoever was on the other end.

“We’re going to have to take him." 

Cas heard her say something about a suspected overdose, but he wasn’t quite paying attention. His gut twisted and knotted as he stared down at the kid. Something was gnawing at him, and he knew he couldn’t leave the kid alone. He looked so small and vulnerable. Cas climbed into the back of the ambulance after the EMTs.

Within seconds of the door closing, the kid was hooked up to an IV. In the warmth of the ambulance, his skin seemed to get some colour back. His fingers fluttered as the paramedics worked on him, supposedly a good sign. Cas could only pray.

He prayed when they took him into ER and he couldn’t see the poor boy’s face. He prayed when he was put into a room a short while later, eyes still glued firmly shut. 

A doctor told him his name was Sam Winchester and he was 18. He explained something about an overdose on SSRIs and that Sam would be awake soon. Until then, it would be useful for someone to stay with him. Well, Cas couldn’t leave him the way he was.

Hours later and Sam’s eyes fluttered open. Cas had been watching him intently, and jumped up when he saw Sam’s eyelids open. His eyes were a stunning shade of hazel, but he still looked so dazed. A dead man walking.

"Who are you?” His voice was so hoarse, so quiet, that it was hard to believe Sam was whole.

“I’m Castiel,” he introduced himself. Sam blinked at him, before looking around the room. He tried to sit up but Cas stopped him. “You passed out on campus, you OD’d and I found you. You’re in hospital, you can’t sit up yet. Do you want me to call a nurse?”

“No.”

“Okay, well I suppose you can call someone now, I can leave.” Cas started to collect his things, not that he had much on him. The time on his phone told him it was 6am. Screw going to his morning lectures. As Cas passed by the bed, he felt a weak grip on his sleeve.

“Stay with me,” Sam asked. There were tears in those perfect eyes, and Cas’ step faltered. “Please.”

“Don’t you have family?” Cas asked him, although he was already sitting back down. Sam shook his head. “Do you remember what happened?” Another head shake.

“Last thing I remember was taking my meds,” Sam mumbled. “I only took two. I don’t remember being in the quad. I can remember being cold but not being outside. I don’t know, I’ve been losing a lot of time lately.”

Castiel watched Sam like a hawk. His chest juddered as Sam tried not to cry, shaky movements and twitching fingers. He reached out and held Sam’s hand tightly. Something in him seemed to release, and the sombre look left his face.

“I wasn’t trying to hurt myself,” he said eventually. 

The statement hung heavy in the room, and Cas wasn’t quite sure what to say, he’d never been in a situation like this before. He shook his head, squeezed Sam’s hand.

“It’s okay, I believe you.”

“It feels like I’m having an outer body experience, like I’m watching myself on TV or something.”

Castiel hummed. Sam looked so grateful to have someone there to talk to him, he was so glad that he stayed. They were interrupted when a nurse pushed into the room, scolding them for not pressing the call button. A doctor was called to check Sam over properly, and Cas was told that the tests would take a while so he could go home. He checked with Sam, but the kid gave him a confident smile.

“Go, Castiel, I’ll see you around.”

Cas nodded, but made sure to leave his number behind.

“Call me whenever you need.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story behind Sam passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @stormsong who encouraged me to look at Sam's side of things - ask and you shall recieve

Time was moving slowly. 

Maybe it wasn't time, maybe it was just Sam, but it felt like he was fighting against the tides. It was like he was swimming in blood. Whose blood? His own maybe? He couldn't tell, it was too dark to see most days. He didn't really want to open his eyes, to wake up. His alarm told a different story, screaming at him distantly, and Sam wondered if he actually set an alarm or if it was his room mates. That made more sense, because he couldn't remember setting his phone. He didn't even know what time his class was. Fuck, he should probably check.

His phone was still vibrating when he picked it up. The screen was too bright and the noises were too loud and Sam shut off the alarm and put it back on the bedside table.

Maybe he could miss college just once. It wasn't so bad, he supposed, because he wouldn't have turned up if he was being sick. And yeah, it was mind vomit but Sam still felt horrible and a sick day sounded good. His bed was warm even if his sheets smelled liked sweat. He wasn't quite drowning, but getting up would mean wading through blood and Sam couldn't do that again.

He didn't know how long he'd been staring at his ceiling, but Brady walked through the door some time during it. There was a look of disgust on his face but Sam didn't have the energy to react to it. The curtains were flung open, light flooded the room but Sam could still only see the ceiling.

"Sam," Brady waved a hand in front of his face. He looked scared. Stupid fucking Sam, making everyone scared. Sam didn't answer, let Brady shift out of focus and fade away. Sam wished he could do the same. "Sam, fucking answer me. Have you eaten? Taken your meds?"

Maybe he had, but Sam couldn't remember getting out of bed all day.

He heard Brady sigh, and then the blur left his view. Back to the ceiling, it was his favourite sight these days. When the library got too much, or he couldn't make it to class, the ceiling was always there. There was a soft silence in the flat, and then suddenly there was something else in his face. It was blurry, but he could make out the blue shape. The words? Completely unreadable, but even he knew it was water. He took the bottle from Brady. His throat was raw.

The water was cold, and Sam was warm. Maybe he should take off his bed sheets. Maybe he could wash them. He tried to sit up but was hit by a wave of dizziness. As he slumped back down, Brady caught him.

"Meds first, then food, and then we're talking about this."

Sam nodded, because he didn't know what to say. He couldn't really trust his voice, because he couldn't remember the last time he used it. Probably in class, but when was that? He was crying before he realised it. Pathetic of him, really. He rested against the headboard; it made his back hurt but at least he felt something. Pills appeared in his hand, two little white ovals, and Sam tightened his grip on them.

"Take them, Sam, please," Brady begged, and he was crying too. Sam didn't think he'd ever seen Brady cry, not even when his girlfriend broke up with him, broke his heart and took a piece of him with her. Brady never cried, he laughed it off and carried on. "Sam, are you listening to me?"

Sam brought the pills to his mouth, let them sit on his tongue as they dissolved. One gulp, and they were gone.

"Sorry, Brady."

"You don't need to apologise," Brady stroked his hair out of his face. His touch was so gentle, Sam didn't really deserve it. "Sam, I know you're depressed, but you can't just sit and let yourself rot away. Go outside! Ya know, call your brother or something." Sam flinched at the mention of his brother, but he got Brady's point.

"I'm trying. I just forgot to go to class, that's all," Sam shrugged it off. He wasn't trying, not really and he knew it. Things were too hard. "I promise, I'll call the counsellor tomorrow."

"You called her yesterday, dude," Brady said. There was a post-it note on the wall, black sharpie that read _THERAPY 3:30PM FRI._ What day was it again? Sam probably missed the appointment. "Tomorrow, Sam, you go see her tomorrow. You know what, I'll take you there. I know I can't help you, but I gotta do something. You're killing m- you're killing yourself. I'm not about to let that happen."

Sam was grateful, he was, but Sam was a lost cause and not deserving of it. He supposed, if he had shit to do, he better go to sleep. His pills made him feel sleepy anyway. The ceiling was blurry.

 

It was cold.

Sam was vaguely aware that it was cold. He didn't _feel cold_ , but ice was nipping at his skin. The air bit at him, leaving a layer of frost on his bare skin. Why was he outside? Brady told him to go out, he was sure. Something between enjoying the fresh air and avoiding calling his family. Maybe his appointment with Jody the nice counsellor was soon. Going to Jody made sense, the counsellors office was on the other side of campus and Sam was half way there already.

His stomach hurt. He tried to remember the last time he ate, but there were pretzel crumbs on his bed when he woke up so he had to have eaten something. His legs were packed sand that were crumbling under him. 

The quad was covered in grass. Grass was nice, comfortable. If Sam was going to fall apart into nothing, he'd rather do it on the grass. There were flowers growing in the fields, maybe weeds, but they melted into the background.

 

Sam's chest hurt. A lot.

The deep aching inside of him was cruel but it was something and Sam welcomed that feeling. He held onto it for a second, before letting himself wake up. There was something different about his room, it was stark white instead of the comfortable darkness he knew. There was a boy with startling eyes and dark hair watching him. Sam tried to frown, but his face hurt more than his chest.

The boy introduced himself as Castiel, told him some story about finding him passed out in the quad. Sam hadn't left his dorm room in days, how could he have been in the quad? Whatever, it didn't matter - so long as he was alive that's the point, right?

Then Cas tried to leave, said Sam could call someone else but he had no one. Okay, he had Brady, but he couldn't call him when he was like this. So Sam started crying, and he begged the stranger to stay.

Castiel stayed.

His head was clearing, and he was remembering the last few days. Well, the parts worth remembering. Like Brady shoving his meds down his throat and the phone call to Jody. He hadn't meant to so this, he'd never wanted to overdose. That's what he told Castiel. Needed his new friend to believe him. And Castiel might have been too trusting but he did and he held Sam's hand tight in the way that Sam needed. For a second, everything felt new and bright and fresh. Castiel's touch was electric.

And then the nurse shooed him out of the room and left Sam alone. There were talks of therapy and damage but Sam couldn't really hear what she was saying. Not when Castiel's  
number sat on his bedside table and the boy spoke in his gravelly voice.

"Call me whenever you need," he'd said. How could Sam resist such an offer.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!!
> 
> Please leave a comment or a kudos!
> 
> Also posted on my [tumblr](http://benevolentsam.tumblr.com/post/180671077498/cas-didnt-know-what-to-tell-the-emts-when-they) (feel free to chat with me on tumblr)
> 
> Also, no pressure, but if you can spare a few pounds I've set up a [Ko-Fi](http://ko-fi.com/leahbarron) if you want to buy me a cup of coffee (Literally I don't expect you to at all! No pressure at all I'll still be putting out free content!)


End file.
